Echo's Notorious Sex Blog

Hi my name is Echo, yes that is my birth given name. Well let's see.......I am a Married 29 year old Swinging Bi-Sexual female. I am 100% Irish and have the red hair and green eyes to proove it. I am a smartass I love to joke & laugh,,,,,,laughter is the key to happiness, that and a very sexually healthy life. I did have a Girlfriend until she recently got jealous, so now I am looking for a replacement,,,lol. Hmm what else more can I tell you except...

Monday, November 21, 2005

SEXUAL ADDICTION

Sexual addiction is hard for many people to take seriously, but for sufferers and their partners it can be devastating. I'm going to explain what it is and what you can do if you think the problem's affecting your relationship.

What is it?

Experts define sexual addiction as any sexual activity that feels out of control. A sex addict feels compelled to seek out and engage in sexual behaviour, in spite of the problems it may cause in their personal, social and work lives.

Sexual addition can take many forms, but it's generally characterised by behaviour that feels out of control. This behaviour might include:
  • excessive use of pornography
  • compulsive masturbation
  • exhibitionism
  • voyeurism
  • fetishes
  • high-risk sex
  • prostitution
  • telephone or internet sex
  • multiple affairs
  • anonymous sexual encounters

Sex can become addictive in a similar way to alcohol and illegal drugs. During sex, our bodies release a powerful cocktail of chemicals that make us feel good. Some people get addicted to these chemicals and become obsessed with getting their next fix - their next sexual high. As with other addictions, the body also gets used to these chemicals, so the sufferer needs increasing amounts of sex to achieve the same buzz.

Between the highs of sexual and chemical fulfilment are the lows. These are often characterised by feelings of shame, regret, remorse and anxiety. Sufferers can feel alone, isolated and powerless to change their behaviour. And so the cycle begins again, as they seek out sex as a way to escape these difficult feelings.

How common is it?

According to conservative estimates, between three and six per cent of the population suffer from sexual addiction, but it's likely that the real figure is much higher. As the addiction can be accompanied by feelings of shame and embarrassment, sufferers often find it difficult to seek help. There's no profile of a typical sex addict. Sufferers come from every walk of life and approximately 20 per cent are female. Women can have particular problems being taken seriously when they look for help for compulsive sexual behaviour. Since the launch of the internet, with it's vast range of sexual services available cheaply and anonymously, professionals have seen a massive increase in sexual addiction. And with limited services available for sufferers, it looks as though the problem will continue to rise.

What are the signs?

  1. Feeling that your behaviour is out of control.
  2. Being aware that there may be severe consequences if you continue.
  3. Feeling unable to stop your behaviour, despite knowing the consequences.
  4. Persistently pursuing destructive and/or high-risk activities.
  5. Wanting to stop or control what you're doing and taking active steps to limit your activities.
  6. Using sexual fantasies as a way of coping with difficult feelings or situations.
  7. Needing more and more sexual activity in order to experience the same high.
  8. Suffering from intense mood swings around sexual activity.
  9. Spending an increasing amount of time planning, engaging in or regretting and recovering from sexual activities.
  10. Neglecting important social, occupational or recreational activities in favour of sexual behaviour.

If you think you're a sufferer

If you've recognised any of the above in your own behaviour, the most important step you can take is to acknowledge that sexual addiction is a real problem that won't go away by itself. You must take personal responsibility for your recovery. Most addicts find it very difficult to change their behaviour on their own. You may be able to minimise the behaviour for a while, but often the cycle is too strong. A professional therapist can help you to understand what's happening and encourage you to take steps to change to a healthier sexual lifestyle.

If your partner's a sufferer

If you suspect that your partner is a sex addict, chances are you've already tried to change their behaviour. Ultimately, though, no one can recover from an addiction unless they accept that they have a problem and want to change. Being the partner of a sex addict is painful and confusing, but there's help available for you too. As well as individual therapy, there are a growing number of support groups.

 

 

 

 

 

The consequences

A survey of sexual addicts revealed that as a result of their behaviour:

  • 70 % had severe relationship problems
  • 40 % had lost a partner
  • 27 % had lost career opportunities
  • 40 % had experienced unwanted pregnancies
  • 72 % suffered suicidal obsession
  • 17 % had attempted suicide
  • 68 % had been exposed to sexually transmitted infections

PREMATURE EJACULATION

Premature ejaculation

Between 30 % and 40 % of men are believed to suffer from the frustrating condition called premature or rapid ejaculation. The good news is that it can be simply and successfully treated.

What is premature ejaculation?

Definitions of premature ejaculation have ranged from "cuming within six thrusts" to "cuming within two minutes" and even "cuming before your partner". The last one can be particularly misleading if you have a partner who likes to take up to an hour to reach orgasm! A simpler definition is that if you cum before you want to and you feel you're not able to control it, then you're suffering from premature ejaculation (or PE for short). Bear in mind that most men will come sooner than they'd like on some occasions, particularly if under stress or in situations of very high excitement. However, if you are unable to control when you come more than 50 % of the time, then it becomes a problem. Some men may only suffer from PE when they're having intercourse. Some feel they come too quickly whatever the stimulation with a partner. Others feel they have little control even when they're masturbating alone.

The causes

PE sufferers aren't able to recognise what therapists call the "point of inevitability". This is a sensation that occurs just a few moments before ejaculation. Men who don't suffer from PE are able to recognise this sensation and either stop or change stimulation until the urgency has subsided. Most commonly, men who suffer from PE will have had it throughout their sexual life and won't ever have noticed this "point of inevitability". There are a number of reasons why this might have happened. It may be that initially, sex was always rushed or was associated with feelings of guilt or anxiety. Sometimes men become quick ejaculators because of partner pressure to "get it over and done with". Whatever the original cause, the body gets used to responding quickly and rapid ejaculation becomes the norm. Very occasionally, premature ejaculation results from a physical condition such as a urinary tract or prostate infection. Recent research suggests that some men may have a physiological predisposition in the nervous system to ejaculate quickly. But for most men, ejaculation will often be quicker in times of stress or ill health.

Self-help techniques

There are a number of things you can do to help yourself to recognise the point of inevitability. You might choose to practise alone at first, then discuss it with your partner and ask them to help you overcome this problem.

  • Relax. This is the most important thing you can do. Have a bath, use deep-breathing techniques or buy a relaxation tape.
  • Tackle relationship issues. Be sure that your head and heart are in the mood for sex as well as your body. If you're unhappy about something with your partner then sort it out first.
  • Exercise your pelvic floor. Many men say they are able to delay ejaculation by squeezing or pushing their pelvic floor muscles.
  • Stop and start. This is the most common technique used in psychosexual therapy. Practise stimulating yourself to the point just before ejaculation, then stop. Start again when the sensations have subsided. Repeat this three times. You should find the length of time before each stop gets gradually longer.
  • Change strokes. If you feel you've gained more control with the stop-and-start technique, try changing your stroke to something less stimulating rather than stopping all together.
  • Change positions. During intercourse, try the stop-and-start technique when the sensations become strong. When you're more confident, try changing positions rather than stopping.

Getting help

If these self-help techniques don't help - your GP might suggest a short course of antidepressants. The latest style SSRI's have the side affect of delaying ejaculation and may be prescribed purely for that purpose.

 

Further reading

There are lots of useful self-help books available on the market, including:

  • The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld (Bantam Doubleday Dell)
  • How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation by Helen Singer Kaplan (Brunner/Mazel)
  • Coping with Premature Ejaculation by Michael Metz, Barry McCarthy (New Harbinger Publications)

 

MIDLIFE AND MENOPAUSE

Sexual Issues in Menopause

Women sometimes wonder what is in store for our sex lives as we enter menopause. In our society men continue to be seen as potential sex partners until an advanced age, but women are commonly considered to be over the hill by midlife. Medical textbooks claim that women's sex drive increases with menopause, when we no longer fear getting pregnant.  Feminists and women's glossies insist that all you need is the right attitude, and your sex life will flourish forever. Hormone therapy in menopause is now on the outs with the medical community. It has been shown that so-called hormone replacement therapy (a term cleverly coined to emphasize its "naturalness") does not prevent coronary artery disease and seems more likely to cause than to prevent other life-threatening diseases. But women continue to ask whether hormones can improve the quality of our lives even if they can't prolong it. These issues are virtually ignored by the medical literature. In fact, many women sail right past the menopausal transition. But others find, often to our surprise, that we do experience sexual difficulties. It can be difficult to find help or even validation for several concerns:

  • Loss of libido

    Though women's sexual functioning and enjoyment of penetration commonly peaks in our forties, it's true for both men and women that the intensity and the impelling quality of the sex drive fall steadily after adolescence. An additional dip is frequently experienced with the menopause, and can be profound.

  • Impaired sexual functioning

    Sexual encounters may change in quality because of decreased pleasure with penetration, difficulty reaching climax, weak orgasmic sensations, etc. Even before menopause, many women stop feeling the need to have an orgasm with every sexual encounter.

  • Changes in world view

    Some menopausal women find ourselves losing interest not only in sex per se but in the entire romantic, passionate, or flirtatious side of human interactions.

  • Vaginal dryness

    Estrogen lack inevitably causes the vaginal lining to become thinner and dryer, which causes pain and difficulty with penetration for most, though not all, women.

Sexuality can be affected by the mood swings of early menopause, the symptoms of the menopausal transition, the physical effects of hormone lack and the way we and others see menopause. Women wracked with anxiety from hormone swings, soaked with sweat from hot flashes, or in what feels like a constant state of premenstrual tension are unlikely to be feeling very sexy. Once the ovaries have stopped putting out hormones, vaginal dryness can make penetration unappealing. And the symbolic value of menopause can itself make us feel old, unattractive, and sexless.

Do falling hormones kill libido?

Women's sex drive is related to hormones but in a complex way: the female hormones, estrogen and progesterone, have less of a stimulating effect than the male hormones, which are secreted in small amounts by the ovaries. In fact most menstruating women feel sexiest immediately after our period, the time of the month when female hormones are at their lowest level.  When the ovaries cease functioning with the menopause, they stop producing both male and female hormones, which affects some women's sex drive. Eventually the adrenal glands take over to some extent, especially in producing male hormones, and the sex drive can then perk up again. But this is not inevitable, and some women experience even a temporary plunge in our sexuality as devastating.

Strategies for coping:

  • The vaginal tissues

    Vaginal dryness is the first, and easiest, thing to fix if you are experiencing sexual difficulties. Often saliva, K-Y jelly, or Astraglide give sufficient relief. When they don't, tiny amounts of estrogen creams applied vaginally will not only improve lubrication but will after a few weeks restore the thickness and consistency of the vaginal area to its pre-menopausal levels without exposing the rest of the body to hormones. Simply making penetration painfree and well-lubricated can bring back sexual pleasure for many women.

  • Hormone replacement therapy

    When a woman's sexual functioning remains unsatisfactory even after her vagina regains its juiciness, systemic estrogens in the form of pills or patches can be tried. If this treatment works, as it often does, it can be continued at the lowest effective dose following the standard precautions for hormone replacement therapy, with the addition of progesterone to protect the uterus, and planning periodic pauses to see whether it is still necessary.

  • Testosterone

    Male sexual hormones can effectively boost a woman's flagging libido, either in association with estrogen (Estratest, a pill combining estrogen and testosterone, is available in the United States, or by themselves. But male hormones can deepen a woman's voice and cause liver damage, among other side effects, so they are probably not a good solution for other than the short run.

  • Tibolone

    Sold as Livial in much of Continental Europe and, as of 2002, in the United Kingdom, but not yet available in the USA, this molecule combines some of the effects of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. It is fairly effective for hot flashes and vaginal dryness and very effective for reviving the sex drive. Tibolone is less masculinizing than testosterone and probably provokes less breast cancer and uterine cancer than usual hormone replacement therapy; its effects on heart disease are unknown.

You may even find in the end that a decreased interest in the sexual side of life, though initially disconcerting, is unimportant or even welcome. After decades being driven by our sexuality many women find the calming of the senses that can accompany menopause to open us up to a new independence and to enthusiasm for exploring new interests during the second half of our adult life. The menopausal Germaine Greer, previously known for her sexual exploits, amazed some of her fans by extolling the joys of gardening. Other women say, "My sex life is better than ever -- since menopause we do it twice a day." Few phenomena in the life cycle vary as much as the menopause. It is not only women who encounter changes in our sexuality with aging. Older men often require more direct stimulation to attain an erection, and have a longer "refractory period" between ejaculations. For many couples, heterosexual and homosexual, the sexual encounters of later life, richer in snuggles and gentle caresses and less focussed on orgasm, can be at least as rewarding as those of their youth.

AN INABILITY TO REACH ORGASM

An inability to reach orgasm

The inability to reach orgasm during sexual intercourse is better documented for women than men. Whilst anorgasmia, also known as orgasmic disorder, orgasmic dysfunction or orgasmic inhibition, is less common in men there are similarities in both sexes in terms of the possible causes and therapeutic outcomes.

Statistics vary widely on the extent of the problem with men, but a range of between 1 to 10 million has been cited. One reason for the wide statistical variation is to do with the defining qualities of anorgasmia in men. For some men the disorder presents itself in terms of an inability to reach orgasm only during sex. In such cases it is often possible for orgasm to be reached but only after prolonged and intense non-intercourse stimulation.

Psychological Causes

It is estimated that around 90% of anorgasmia problems are related to psychological issues. Surveys point to performance anxiety as the number one psychological problem. Performance anxiety in this context is not necessarily related to 'staying power' or duration of intercourse. It may relate more to attempts to 'will' a state of sexual resolution which in turn leads to a vicious cycle of anxiety. Many psychological problems, such as work stress, are often intense but of short duration and are easily identified by an individual as the cause of their current sexual difficulty. In such cases the problem is often self correcting and of relatively short duration. Other causes may, for example, be rooted in the development of negative attitudes towards sex, sometimes from childhood. There is also a relationship between anorgasmia and childhood or adult sexual abuse or rape. Marital strife, boredom within a relationship coupled with a monotonous sex life are other known contributory factors. 

Other Causes

The sedative effects of some drugs, including alcohol, are known to impair the orgasmic response. Chronic illness and pain can have a general debilitating effect over many aspects of life including sexuality. It is also known that spinal cord injury, multiple sclerosis, hormone conditions and diabetes can be implicated. As men age there is a natural slowing down of many physiological processes. Many men are unaffected by this or in fact regard the reduction in their sexual drive as actually beneficial. For others however the changes are a cause of anxiety and may also be wrongly regarded as symptomatic of others ills.

Treatments

In situations where the condition is causing concern, it is normal practice for a physical examination to be conducted and organic causes ruled out before other treatment options are considered. Treatment is likely to be facilitated by a qualified sex counselor or sex therapist. Typically, treatment is based around an educational package which includes homework that addresses the sexual activities and relationship issues identified by the couple in question. Communication training is a key element and the therapist will place emphasis on couples developing playful and/or relaxed interactions and reducing the need to perform sexually and routinely. Graduated assignments lead eventually towards a resumption of sexual activity, but this time underpinned by new insights and greater enjoyment. Success rates for this form of therapy are estimated between 65% to 85%.

WHAT IS A NORMAL PENIS SIZE?

What is a normal penis size?

Penis Size Anxiety
Penis development and penis size is the stuff of teenage and adult anxiety. Locker-room comparisons about what a normal penis size is, or should be, is a test of confidence. This is mostly because although men know that penis size varies from person to person there is a long-standing myth that sexual prowess relies on having a large penis. Sexual satisfaction is due to a number of things and size is only one aspect. Big is not the same as, or equal to, satisfaction. Although a big penis is currently thought to be aesthetically pleasing it is, like various aspects of the human anatomy, open to shifting trends. In ancient Rome or Greece for example a large penis was thought laughable - check out the statues in the museums.

What Determines Penis Size
Penis size is determined by genetics. The size of the penis changes during puberty. Penis growth starts between the ages of about 10 to 14 years of age, although some boys are younger, some older. The testicles begin to enlarge first and hair grows in the pubic region. The penis grows in length first and girth slightly later. Average penis size for the mature non-erect adult is between 3 to 4 inches. Teenagers have to wait one or two years after they have stopped growing in height before they will be able to know their final penis size. Body size can affect the penis length. If a person is overweight or obese then the penis looks a lot smaller because it will be surrounded and sometimes almost engulfed by fat. This, in medical terms, is called a concealed penis. There are a number of medical conditions that affect penis size. These are evident at birth and may require medical intervention. Micropenis (just over half an inch) is a condition that may be a genetic or hormonal problem. Webbed penis, concealed penis and trapped penis are all conditions where the penis is of normal size but outwardly small. This can be rectified with surgical help. Very rarely children may be born without a penis, a condition known as penile agenesis but affecting only 1 in 20 million males.

What is a Normal Sized Penis?
One of the difficulties you may come across in your quest to establish what normal penis size is (flaccid or erect) is that global statistics are not always easy to come by that have been properly scientifically collated. There are a number of internet polls and various survey statistics available but it does not take much imagination to realize that the statistics may well be flawed. Often the results are pooled from 'self-reports' and as this relies on men being absolutely truthful about their penis size there may be a bias towards exaggerate claims. What would you say if called to measure yours? Would you round up the figure rather than down? Flaccid penis size is no indicator of erect penis size. In some men their penis hardly changes size between flaccid and erect states. Other men may have fairly modest flaccid penis sizes but have a much larger erection. Interestingly it is often flaccid penis size that concerns men the most. Temporary size increase can be achieved through the use of penis pumps but care has to be taken not to be over enthusiastic. Anyway, for those of you still concerned, here are some solid statistics:

Average adult flaccid penis is in the range 2.5 to 4.5 inches (6-11 centimeters)
Average adult erect penis is in the range 4 to 8 inches (10-20 centimeters)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

SAFE SEX

Safe Sex

 

Sexual intimacy does not necessarily include sexual intercourse. In deciding whether to engage in intimate sexual relations, including intercourse, you may consider cultural, ethical, religious, moral, and psychological factors as well physical ones. Many people choose to abstain from sexual intercourse. People may choose varying levels of sexual intimacy. You should not feel pressured to engage in sexual intercourse or any other sexual activity; what is right for you is the level of sexual intimacy with which you feel comfortable, whether than means none, holding hands, intercourse, or any of a mind-boggling variety of other forms of sexual activity.

Deciding to become sexually intimate with a partner can be a big step to take in a relationship, especially since, for many people, having sex involves an emotional commitment as well as a physical one. The decision to become sexually intimate with another person must also be considered in light of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) that are prevalent among college students; many times infections may be asymptomatic, so someone may transmit the disease to another person unknowingly.

Becoming pregnant is also a fear in heterosexual relationships. Only a barrier method, like condoms or dental dams, can reduce the likelihood of the transmission of HIV and certain other STDs. Abstinence is the only completely effective method of preventing STDs, HIV and pregnancy. If you do choose to be sexually active, practicing safer sex, along with maintaining open communication with your partner, can reduce the risks discussed here. Engaging in sexual intercourse can potentially be scary or dangerous ; discussing both the emotional and physical risks of sex and deciding with your partner how best to minimize those risks can be empowering and can make for an even more intimate sexual experience.

Practicing safer sex doesn't mean eliminating sex from your life. What safer sex does mean is being smart and staying healthy. It means showing love, concern, and respect for partners and for self. Safer sex means enjoying sex to the fullest without transmitting, or acquiring, sexually related infections. There are numerous sexually transmissible diseases; the consequences of some, like HIV and syphilis, may be deadly. All of them are caused by micro-organisms which pass between partners during particular sexual activities.  Safer sex means reducing the chance of acquiring sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS.

One of the most common reasons of sexual dysfunctions and low sexual desire is fear. The fear can be related to getting hurt, becoming pregnant, or getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD).Practicing safe sex, can help you protect yourself from an unwanted pregnancy or an STD.


General Tips to Safe Sex


  • Practice sex only in a monogamous relationship. Switching partners frequently will put you more at risk of contracting an STD.

  • Know your partners sexual history before engaging in sexual activity with this person.

  • Avoid sexual encounters if you or your partner have been exposed to risky sexual activity and resume sexual encounters only when the potentially infected person has been medically tested.

  • Wash your genitals after sexual contact to reduce STD risks.

  • Urinate immediately after intercourse to help flush out germs.

  • Do not have sex under the influence of alcohol or drugs since this may lead you to practice risky unsafe sex.

  • Use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse and oral sex, making sure to follow the correct condom instructions.


    General Condom Tips


  • Use a condom every time you have a sexual encounter.

  • Check the exipry date on the package of your condom.

  • Open the condom packaging with care and beware of long nails.

  • Use a spermicide with the condom or buy a condom that has already been treated with spermicide. Spermicide helps protect against both pregnancies and STD's like like HIV, chlamydia, herpes and gonorrhea.

  • Put the condom on during foreplay to avoid forgetting it and to avoid contact with any pre-ejaculatory fluid.

  • Leave about half an inch of space at the condom tip and roll the condom all the way down to the base of the penis.

  • After ejaculation and just before the penis relaxes, remove the condom holding it firmly around the base to avoid spillages.

  • Use a fresh condom every time sex is repeated. Never ever reuse a condom.

  • Store your condoms in a cool place and do not expose to sunlight.

  • Do not use oil based lubricants on condoms (eg: vaseline, massage oils) since this can corrode the condom. Go for water based lubricants like KY jelly instead
  • Please have fun & stay safe at the same time!! Hugs~~Echo

    Tuesday, November 15, 2005

    FEMALE AND MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS

    Female Sexual Dysfunctions

    Vaginismus

    This is when the muscles around the vagina spasm involuntary, and prevent the insertion of the penis. This is essentially a conditioned response that reflects fear, anxiety or pain. This sexual dysfunction is estimated to affect around 2% of women. Vaginismus could be caused by negative attitudes about sexuality, bad sexual experiences such as rape or abuse. However, at times, no cause can be pinpointed. The first course of treatment is identifying and treating the underlying physical or psychological problems that could be causing the dysfunction. Women suffering from this dysfunction are also advised to do some Kegel exercises that are basically designed to strengthen and control the pubococcygeus muscle. Other courses of treatment include, making use of plastic vaginal dilators that are graduated in diameter until the dysfunction disappears.


    Dyspareunia


    Dyspareunia is a sexual dysfunction that is characterized by pain during sexual intercourse. This often occurs because the woman is not sufficiently aroused when her partner attempts sexual intercourse. Sexual inhibitions, a poor relationship with the sexual partner and hormonal imbalance may all lead to this dysfunction. As treatment, women are advised to make use of a lubricated jelly like KY jelly which may make sexual intercourse easier. (Always make sure that the lubrication is compatible with the contraceptive)


    Anorgasmia


    Anorgasmia is a dysfunction characterized by the absence of orgasm in females. This is the most common sexual dysfunction experienced in females. There are 3 main types of anorgasmia. These are

    Primary Anorgasmia - When a woman has never experienced an orgasm.

    Secondary Anorgasmia - When a woman has experienced an orgasm but no longer does so.

    Situational Anorgasmia - When a woman has an orgasm in certain situations but not others, (eg: orgasms during masturbation but not during intercourse.)
    Absence of an orgasm may occur for a variety of reasons including lack of stimulation during sexual intercourse or insufficient duration of intercourse, especially if the man is suffering from Premature Ejaculation.

     

    Male Sexual Dysfunctions

     

    Erectile Dysfunctions (Impotence)

    Erectile Dysfunction is the inability to have or to maintain an erection during sexual intercourse. This is a very common problem in men, in fact, estimates show that almost 50% of men have this problem at some point during their life. However, this dysfunction is not normal in younger males and usually occurs after the age of 50. The common causes of erectile dysfunctions could be; fatigue, alcohol, smoking, some medications, diabetes, hormone imbalance, etc. The first course of treatment is identifying and treating the underlying physical or psychological problems that could be causing the dysfunction. When this fails, other solutions like Viagra, Penile Implants etc are considered.


    Premature Ejaculation

    This is the inability to control or delay ejaculation as long as the individual wishes, resulting in distress for the individual or his partner. It is estimated that over 33% of men experience premature ejaculation. The leading causes of this dysfunction are associated with stress and anxiety, prostate problems, testosterone imbalance, high blood pressure etc. One of the most common method of treatments suggested, is the withdraw or squeezing of the penis during sexual intercourse (just before ejaculation) to stop stimulation and thus prevent premature ejaculation or by serotonergic anti-depressants or SSRIs (eg: Seroxat, Prozac, Cipramil, Zoloft).

    Inhibited or Delayed Ejaculation


    Inhibited Ejaculation - This is when the penis is erect but the man is unable to ejaculate. However, the man might still be able to experience an orgasm without ejaculating. Only about 4-9% of men complain of this dysfunction.

    Delayed Ejaculation - This is when the men is unable to ejaculate easily during sexual intercourse. In fact, it may take the man around 45 minutes until he is able to ejaculate.
    Anxiety can interfere with a man's ejaculatory reflex and this can be overcome namely by distracting the man or providing extra stimulation.

     

    Sexual dysfunctions are a serious matter. They can destroy a relationship quicker then it started. If you have any problems you should seek help. Don't hope the problem will pass on it's own. There are pills for some preoblems. Don't be embarrased if you have a problem, it's a natural part of life.

    Hugs~~ECHO

    Monday, November 14, 2005

    VOYEURISM

    Voyeurism

     

    Voyeurism is a paraphilia characterized by a pattern of sexual behavior in which one's preferred means of sexual arousal is the clandestine observing of others when they are undressing, nude or engaged in sexual activity. Arousal is dependent upon the observed person not being aware that they are being observed. Usually, the sexual excitement which is aroused when peeping is greater when the risk of getting caught is high. Voyeurs are generally male; a common name for them is "peeping tom".

    There are various degrees of Voyeurism. Watching pornography and reading hard-core books is considered as one form of voyeurism. Spying on another person is regarded as another degree. One has to draw a line between the onlooker and the voyeur. It is considered normal when a man looks at a nude woman in a magazine, or peep through a window to see her undress, but the voyeur usually goes through a lot of trouble to peep (ie: attaching mirrors to shoes to glimpse under a girls skirt.)

    Various studies have shown that;

  • Voyeurs are often in their early 20's and likely to be the youngest in their family.
  • Onset of voyeurism is typically before the age of fifteen, and the individual may become so invested in the voyeuristic activity as to have this as the sole sexual behavior. This becomes typically a chronic condition.
  • Voyeurs often deny that they are such, have poor relationships with their father, have overprotective mothers and could have experienced early childhood trauma or abuse.

    Treatment for this paraphilia is normally in the form of psychotherapy to uncover and attempt to work through the underlying causes of the behavior. Success rates however, are unknown.
  • I had a friend that always begged me to hide in my closet so she could watch me and hubby have sexual relations. I always told her know because it was, well sort of weird. Well being a swinger and doing stuff to another couple in the same room as hubby, I couldn't help but to look. See how he performs on other women, gives me a different angle on things. It is so HOT to see my man please another woman, or have him watch me please a woman.

    FETISHISM

    Fetishism

     

    The Webster dictionary describes the word fetish as "an object believed to have magical powers to protect and aid its owner. Usually an object is fixated upon which does not have any direct connection with sexuality in nature. The fixation can also occur on a body part, which like the latter, does not necessarily have sexual connotations. The fetish object is almost invariably used during masturbation, and may sometimes be incorporated during sexual activity. Reports on fetishes also include arousal from sneezes. Some of the most common fetishes are women's lingerie, high heeled shoes, or specific material like silk, leather or fur. Some people have a fetish on particular body parts: feet, breasts, hair and legs, (this is also known as "partialism".) 
    Some fetishes are so common that many people have them. In fact, fetishism can also be placed on a continuum, ranging from the slight preference for an object to a strong preference for an object. There are many fetishes ranging from rape, making love in unfamiliar places, shaved genital area, fetishes for overweight people, pregnant people, milk, food, etc. The fetish always depends on the uniqueness of each person in what excites him/her during lovemaking.

    Fetishism is the use of an inanimate object or a specific part of the body for physical or mental sexual stimulation. This sexual behavior is widespread and takes many forms, from benign (a preference for the partner's wearing of lingerie before sex) to vicious (a rapist cutting a lock of hair from the victim for use in masturbation). The cause of fetishistic behavior as a pattern of sexual gratification cannot usually be explained easily. It is only when these patterns become part of a larger picture, at least in the far more common cases involving a male, such a picture  typically involves doubts about ones own masculinity and potency and a fear of rejection and humiliation. By his fetishistic practices and the mastery over an inanimate object, which comes to symbolize for him the desired sexual  object, the individual apparently safeguards himself and also compensates some what his feelings of inadequacy.

    I dated a guy once witha  foot fetish. It was weird at first, but then was kind of sexy. He would payfor me to have pedicures and would buy me open sandle strappy shoes, which was very cool. He only wanted to look at them and suck on my big toe,which sounds gross but it was a huge turn on. he never wanted to have sexual intercourse with my feet or my shoes or have me jerk him off with my feet or anything weird like that. He just appreciated how pretty my feet were.

    HUGS & KISSES~~ECHO

    EXHIBITIONISM

    Exhibitionism

     

    Exhibitionism involves the exposure of one's genitals inappropriately to unsuspecting strangers in socially unacceptable circumstances. This paraphilia is also known as "indecent exposure" and "flashing". It is common almost exclusively to males, the peak age of which being about twenty. The male usually exposes himself to female strangers in public places like parks, bus stops and schoolyards.
    Many exhibitionists are let to this compulsive behaviour due to erectile problems they come across in other forms of sexual activity. It is also thought that exhibitionism that is followed by masturbation, is used as a stress reducer. Also exhibitionism can be carried out as a need of affirmation by a person with low self esteem. The exhibitionist usually exposes his genitals to shock and degrade the victim but it is unlikely that the exhibitionist would rape or assault his victim. By shocking the victim, the sense of power needed for fulfillment is achieved. The reaction of the female victim is important for the exhibitionist as pleasure is derived from this. An exhibitionist may rape his victims or runaway if he is unsatisfied with the reaction, or if it isn't what he expected. Police catch more exhibitionists than any other paraphilias, the main reason being that sexual pleasure is enhanced by the risk of being caught which leads the exhibitionist to go to the same venue to perform this behaviour.

    Exhibitionism also consists of couples having sex in highly risky situations, where the fear of being caught turns them on and drives their sexual encounter into high gear. Also swinging exhibitionists, get turned on more seeing their partner being pleased by others and turning themselves on at the same time. Some exhibitonist like to be video taped and photgraphed in a sexual way. If you plan on exhibiting your sexual acts, keep in mind that if caught, you can be fined and even put in jail for indecent exposure. But is sure is fun having sex in public!!!

    Friday, November 11, 2005

    HOW TO KISS GREAT!

    How to kiss great! 
    Here are tips and advice on how to be a great kisser
    so your kisses are unforgettable!

    Whether you've never had your first kiss or
    have kissed and been kissed a million times
    before, you'll find out:
    How to make that first kiss special!
    How to hold that special someone when you're kissing!
    Special kisses (tips and advice)
    French kissing -- how to do it right!

    How to kiss shyness goodbye!

    We've all seen kissing in the movies -- the way it's so perfect, and the way it just happens. But real life is different. You're with that special someone at the movies. You want to kiss. But does he? Is he shy? Maybe you'll tell him you want to kiss
    him and end up rejected if he doesn't. Or maybe he wants to kiss you but he's the
    one who's shy. That's why kissing games are so popular.

    Spin the bottle

    The reason "Spin the Bottle" and other kissing games are so popular is that they let
    you kiss someone without having to admit that you like the person you're kissing. You're kissing because you have to. Kissing games are also a good way to try
    different ways of kissing. In "Spin the Bottle," a group of guys and girls sit in a circle,
    and take turns spinning a bottle. When the bottle stops spinning you kiss the person it's pointing to.  But what if you're not playing a kissing game? How can you tell he wants to kiss you? 

    How to tell if he wants to kiss you!

    After you've kissed him once, you know he wants to kiss you. But what if you two have never kissed? The first kiss is the hardest. You could ask him to kiss you, but that takes a lot of courage. But you can tell, without reading his mind. Here are some ways. He could have worked on the work project with someone else, but
    he asked you. He could have called somebody else to chat, but he called you. It all means he likes to hang out with you. And what about when you're with him. Does he
    sit close to you? Does he smile and look happy when you're together? These are all signs that he likes you and might want to kiss you.

    How to get him to kiss you

    Sometimes people who are nervous send out mixed signals. You might want him to kiss you, but your nervous behavior might be saying "stay away." First of all your posture should be open. Sit or stand close to him. Face him. Look at him, not at the
    ground. Don't cross your arms or lean away; or, instead of "kiss me" you'll be saying "kiss off!" Look into his eyes. Smile. Get close to him. If you're not holding hands yet, do it. Ask him to help you remove an earring, or undo the clasp of that gold chain
    you're wearing. To do that he's got to put both hands on your neck. Now turn your head, and look in his eyes, and be quiet. Smile. If he says anything, just interrupt and whisper his name softly. He'll kiss you for sure!

    How to kiss

    When your lips meet, keep them slightly parted and press gently against his lips. Tilt your head slightly to one side, so your noses won't get in the way. What do you do next? It depends. If it's just a little kiss, a peck on the lips, move away but
    (this is very important) don't move away all of a sudden, as if you were disgusted by his kiss! Just move away slowly, maybe while still holding hands, and looking in his eyes. On the other hand, if you're French kissing, read on ...

    French kissing (or Frenching)

    French kisses are kisses in which you also use your tongues. (That's why you part your lips slightly.) So, after you've started kissing, the next step is that either he will slip his tongue into your mouth or you'll slip yours into his. Don't let your tongue go limp but move it around his, or playfully push his tongue out with yours, then let him
    push your tongue back into your mouth, and so on. Repeat this until you get tired of it (which you never will!)

    Kissing with glasses, braces, or peircings

    If either of you wears glasses, just take them off before kissing. If either has braces, the important thing not to press too hard agains this lips. Otherwise the
    braces will dig themselves into the inside of his mouth. Ouch! If you both have braces, don't worry! During normal kissing your braces won't touch, so they can't get tangled up with each other! You have to be careful of lip peircings also, it depends on where the peircing is and how long the other person has had it.

    Kissing do's and dont's

    A sure way to ruin a perfect kiss is with bad breath. Carry around some mints or gum, and have one a few moments before you kiss. Offer him one too. Avoid spicy foods, garlic and onions just before. Or at least make sure you're both eating spicy food, so neither will notice. Non-smokers hate kissing a smoker! It's as gross as kissing an ashtray! You might be nervous, but don't giggle during or after you kiss. The other person won't understand it's nervous laughter. He'll think that you were
    laughing at him!

    Kissing and health

    Can you "catch something" by kissing? Yes you can -- anything from just a cold to
    a pretty serious sexually transmitted disease. Also, since the AIDS virus has been
    found in the saliva of people with AIDS, it could be transmitted by kissing someone who has the disease, especially if you have any cuts in your mouth. There's no such thing as 100% safety. But if someone has a cold or the flu, wait until it's over. If you see he's got sores on his mouth or lips, stay away! Also, if you have cuts in your mouth, or he does this increses your chance of passing on infection.  don't want to make you paranoid, but just to tell you there's no such thing as "safe kissing" so keep that in mind.

    Kissing and s-e-x

    Kissing can be a lot of fun. Don't think that just because you kiss a guy you have to do anything more. On the other hand, once you're kissing passionatley, you might both feel like going further. The best way I know to avoid that is to kiss him in a semi-public place. If you kiss him in a movie theater or on your front porch, you know it's not going to lead to sex right there! On the other hand, if you're sitting on your bed,
    there's not really anything to stop you, so it's something you might want to avoid. 'm not trying to tell you how to run your life, just telling you what's worked for me.

    Practice makes perfect!

    The only way to get good at kissing is to practice. Have fun!

    Hugs & Kisses!!~~ECHO

    Wednesday, November 09, 2005

    TOYS FOR MEN OR FOR EITHER MEN OR WOMEN

    Toys for Men

    For Penile Stimulation

    Most men have their first orgasm with the help only of one of their hands, and throughout life this may remain a perfectly enjoyable and comfortable way to reach orgasm. However, there's definitely no harm in experimenting with new sensations to see if you like them. For example: the Hugger Vibrator, which focuses sensation on the head of the penis, or the Cybersleeve, which distributes sensation all along the shaft of the penis.

    For Prostate Stimulation

    For some men (though certainly not all), ass play in general, and prostate stimulation in specific, is the one thing they discover in late adulthood that they wish they'd discovered in early adulthood. Most butt toys, are designed equally for men or women, but one toy deserves special mention: the Aneros. It's specifically designed for men for the sake of prostate stimulation, either on its own or accompanying masturbation, and is basically the men's equivalent of the "Archer Wand" toy mentioned in the Toys for Women blog.

    Something Often Overlooked...

    I realize this suggestion may seem out of place in a sex toy guide, but I can't help but mention it: find clothing that expresses who you are. The increased feelings of sexiness which you gain from wearing clothes that you feel you look good in, and which you feel confident in, is very real regardless of your gender.

    Toys for Either Women or Men

    Lubes

    For almost any kind of penetration (whether with fingers, a penis, or a dildo, and whether vaginal or anal), slippery is sexy and dry is usually uncomfortable. So basically, a bottle of lube is a fundamental thing to have on hand if you're sexually active. Since oil-based lubes destroy latex condoms and silicone-based lubes are only good for very specific situations, a water-based lube is almost certainly what you want.

    Water-Based

    Water-based lube is your basic, recommended type of lube. It works beautifully with latex, it won't harm any of your sex toys, and it feels natural. For any kind of sex involving vaginal or anal penetration, it can make sex 1000% more fun.

    Basically, try Slippery Stuff if you'll mainly use it for vaginal penetration, and try Astroglide if you'll mainly use it for anal penetration. Both of these water-based lubes are also glycerin-free, which means they're less likely to feel sticky. If neither of these lubes suit your needs, then try a lube sampler to figure out which kind works best for you.

    Silicone-Based

    I hesitated to mention silicone lubes in this blog at all, since the overwhelming majority of people actually shouldn't buy them: if you accidentally use a silicone-based lube with one of your silicone toys, an adhesive reaction results which will destroy that toy. Furthermore, since silicone-based lube doesn't feel like natural vaginal lubrication, for most people it wouldn't be the preferred choice for any kind of vaginal penetration.

    However, there are two specific situations in which silicone-based lube might make sense: when having sex underwater (since water dissolves water-based lubes but not silicone-based lubes), and for lengthy and intense anal penetration.

    Right now, the recommended brand of silicone-based lube is Eros Gel.

    Anal Toys

    A good anal toy can be a revelation: assuming you have some water-based lube so that inserting the toy is comfortable, it can provide stimulation to the nerve-rich anus while going in, and once in can intensify in a very interesting way the feeling of the whole pelvic region during sex. There are two broad categories of anal toys: those meant to be left in during play, and those meant to be gradually pulled out or pushed in during play.

    Toys Meant to be Left in During Play

    These are otherwise known as "butt plugs." They have a special shape that helps them stay in once they're inserted, and can be left in while you have other kinds of sex. Choices include small, medium, and large.

    Toys Meant to be Gradually Pulled Out During Play

    You may have heard of "anal beads." The more durable alternative is a dildo with a series of bulbs shaped like beads, but without a string running through them that can weaken or break. But either way, the point is the same: you insert them, and gradually pull them out during intercourse or masturbation, perhaps leaving a few for the moment of orgasm itself. The impact of this kind of sensation on your orgasm can be dramatic. Right now, the best anal toy created with this kind of play in mind is the Ripple.

    For Cleaning Beforehand, if Desired

    To start with, even though the ass is generally cleaner than you might think, if the nature of ass play still leaves you uncomfortable, there's nothing stopping you from using latex or Nitryl gloves for penetration with fingers, dams for rimming, and condoms on any toys that are going to be inserted. There's also nothing stopping you from using the bathroom well before playing, or taking a shower before playing.But for an additional level of cleaning, or perhaps for an interesting sensation in and of itself, a cleansing douche is always an option.

    For Blindfolded Play

    Blindfolds are sexy for good reasons: they're a consensual way for the receiver to completely focus on what they're feeling, and they're a way to remove any ambiguity as to who is "running the scene." Unfortunately, despite what you may have seen in the movies, just tying a bandanna around someone's head usually doesn't work very well, so you'd probably want something more secure and simpler to apply.

    For Bondage and Sensation Play

    The range of play which falls under the heading of "BDSM" is vast. Stated poetically rather than technically, it's a way to take the freedom to struggle and strain without hurting anyone, combine that with intense sensations which produce the same endorphin and adrenaline rushes you might get from sports, and bundle the whole thing together with sex. Just by way of example, if your main interest as a couple is one of you being able to prevent the other from moving, then bondage tape might be an inexpensive place to start, and once you have either eye bolts or bed posts for securement, continuing to a combination of leather wrist restraints, wrist cuff connectors, and ankle restraints.Similarly, if your main interest is creating different kinds of (possibly intense) sensations for your partner, then examples of things to look at depending on your interests would be nipple clamps and paddles/floggers.

    Slings

    If you have the space to set one up (and the freedom to put eye bolts in a ceiling beam to support it), a sling can be a very cool thing to have. It allows "weightless" intercourse, it makes fisting much easier, and it makes sex a much easier thing for pregnant women to have.

    Candlelight

    Don't forget: candlelight is the most flattering form of illumination you're likely to find, and when used safely is probably the single easiest way to upgrade the appearance of wherever you and your partner play.

    Sex Games

    Most of the "sex games" you see advertised are pretty cheesy, but I've found a few which seem to have value: the Sex Questions game for helping partners learn more about each other, and the Pervartistry game for having fun with a group of open-minded adults.

    Safer Sex Supplies

    If you're worried about getting sick, or you're worried about getting pregnant when you don't want to be pregnant, then sex probably isn't going to be completely fun no matter what you do. So in other words, gaining confidence in your safer sex and birth control arrangements is one of the sexier things you can do for yourself.

    Latex Condoms

    From a public health perspective, using latex condoms for penile vaginal and anal penetration, in any case where one partner may have a transmittable STD which the other does not, is the one habit which would make the biggest difference in the fight against STD's. A terrific latex condom for most men is the Kimono Microthin: they're thin and transmit sensation well, they're well-constructed, and having no taste that we can discern they're as suitable to oral sex as they are to intercourse. If after trying one you decide you'd like a snugger fit, then try Lifestyle Snugger Fit. If after trying one you decide you'd like a roomier fit, then try Pleasure Plus if you'd like more room at the head but the same snug fit at the base, or else Maxx if you'd like a roomier fit all-around. If you'd like to experiment with a condom that might provide a different sensation to you then try the Inspiral, and if you'd like to experiment with a condom that might provide a slightly different sensation to your partner then try the Kimono Sensation. On the other hand, if you're looking for inexpensive condoms not to go around a penis but rather to go around the head of your Hitachi Magic Wand, then pick up a pack of Trustex. If none of these options seem to suit you, then try a condom sampler pack to continue your search.

    Tips: Condoms are most comfortable and effective when what they're surrounded by is slippery rather than dry - so either keep a small bottle of water-based lube with your condoms, or failing that a few single-use packets of water-based lube. Also, as an STD prevention measure the uncomfortable and generally questionable chemical Nonoxynol-9 has definitely fallen out of favor - if you're buying at a drug store or supermarket you'll need to avoid it on your own.

    Latex Dams

    Dams are thin rectangles of latex intended for safer oral sex when going down on a woman (cunnilingus), or for safer and cleaner oral sex when licking someone's anus (analingus). For these purposes, far and away the best product is the Glyde Dam. One important tip: putting a bit of water-based lube on the recipient's side of the barrier can help a lot more sensation be transmitted to them.

    Unfortunately, if you're used to performing cunnilingus without a barrier, but now feel you must for the sake of your own safety or that of your partner, then making the transition to using a dam can be hard. If this remains true for you, even with practice, then please understand there's no shame in learning to use your hands instead: particularly if you take the opportunity to passionately kiss someone or whisper nasty things to them as you're pleasuring them, sex with hands rather than mouths really can feel awfully good...

    Latex Gloves

    Particularly if some of the skin on your hands is damaged (or if there is any chance you'll come into contact with blood) and your partner is of unknown STD/HIV status, latex gloves may make sense for finger or hand penetration. They may also make sense if you want to penetrate your partner's ass with your fingers but you have cleanliness concerns (since after you're done you can just peel the glove off and throw it in the trash).

    Alternatives for People with Latex Allergies

    Although in each case the latex safer sex choice is probably the best choice if you can use it, for partners who are allergic to latex (an allergy particularly common amongst medical professionals) alternative safer sex materials may be needed. If you or your partner is allergic to latex, then for vaginal or anal intercourse the Avanti polyurethane condom is certainly one option (though please understand it is by no means ideal: since polyurethane doesn't stretch as well as latex the reliability and fit is probably just NOT going to be as good for you). An alternative to Avanti is the Reality female condom, which is also usable for anal sex if you remove its inner ring.

    For cunnilingus or analingus, if you or your partner is allergic to latex but some sort of barrier is still needed, your best bet is probably to use regular (i.e. non-microwaveable) kitchen plastic wrap instead.

    For hands and fingers, Nitryl gloves are available as a substitute for latex gloves in cases where gloves are needed

    HUGS & KISSES~~ECHO

    TOYS FOR WOMEN

    Toys for Women

    For Having Orgasms With: Vibrators

    If you're female, or have a female partner, a vibrator is the toy most likely to make the biggest difference to your sex life. Many women have their first orgasm with a vibrator, and most women find it easier to reach orgasm with a vibrator then by any other way. Furthermore, most women cannot reach orgasm through intercourse alone (not through any lack of appreciation or love for their partners, and not through any failing at all on their partner's part, rather just through how the female body is constructed), so if you're a male with a female partner and think it would be sexy and hot for her to have an orgasm while you're having intercourse, a vibrator could be the best present you could get.

    Note that in this section I'm just talking about vibrators that are meant to stimulate the clitoris, i.e. which are used externally, rather than inserted into the vagina. Regardless of what image may pop into your head when you hear the word "vibrator," the external kind is by far the most effective for having orgasms, and by far the most commonly recommended (not to mention that they can then also be used during intercourse with a partner).

    Outlet-Powered Vibrators

    If you buy only one vibrator, I recommend buying one that uses an electrical outlet rather than batteries: they last longer (potentially decades), they never run out of power just as you're about to have an orgasm, and since they're made by mainstream electronics companies and sold in everyday stores (people actually DO use them on their aching backs and feet) you don't even have to be embarrassed if someone else finds it.

    Of the outlet-powered vibrators, the preferred choice is still the Hitachi Magic Wand: in comparison to other plug-in models the Hitachi Magic Wand is easier to use during sex with a partner, it's easier to put a condom over the end in case someone else wants to use it, and the optional penetrative attachments that you can get for it are higher-quality.

    Tips: Use it through panties, sheets, or a thin towel if the vibrations are a little too intense for your bare clit. If you want to go for multiple clitoral orgasms, then after the first one back off on the pressure while keeping the vibrator moving, avoiding direct contact with your clit until your arousal level builds again. Moving your hips while using your vibrator - perhaps also squeezing and relaxing your "PC" muscle in time with your breathing - is something else that can enhance the whole experience. And finally, when it comes to using your vibrator during intercourse with a partner, you'll probably find that "doggy style" is the most convenient position to use the vibrator in.

    Battery-Powered Vibrators

    Even if you already own an outlet-powered vibrator, picking up a separate battery-powered one can still make sense: the smallest of them can easily be kept in a purse, you can use them more discreetly and spontaneously, they may be more convenient for partner sex if you and your partner like to change positions a lot, obviously you can use them when you're not near an electrical outlet, and some of them can be used in or near water (which is nice if you have a hot tub, or if the bathroom is the only place in your house where you have some privacy).

    Right now the most versatile choice is probably the Waterdancer: it's very small, very well made, and completely waterproof, with a design similar to that of the famed (but non-waterproof) "Pocket Rocket."

    Tip: Make sure you have spare batteries.

    For Enhancing Your Orgasms: G-Spot Toys and Dildos

    Once you've become comfortable using a vibrator on your clitoris, there are two different directions it might be fun to explore: either using a firm G-spot toy to also deliver firm pressure against your G-spot, or else using a dildo so that you can enjoy a fuller and more satisfied feeling while using your vibrator. Before beginning, please keep in mind that any toy you penetrate yourself with is going to feel better if you first apply a little water-based lube to it.

    G-Spot Toys

    We realize a lot of fuss gets made about the "G-spot," and not every woman finds pressure on this area of their vagina to be enjoyable, but the people who like it often find that they really like it, so please bear with me for a quick recap...

    Basically, the G-spot is an area on the forward wall of the vagina (i.e. in the direction of your belly) about two to three inches in (i.e. just beyond the pubic bone), which particularly when you're very aroused may feel a little different from the area around it. One way to find and stimulate your G-spot is with a partner, using his or her first two fingers inside you to press firmly upwards, and perhaps stroke the area of the G-spot with a slight "come to me" motion. The other way to find and stimulate your G-spot is with a rigid curved toy.

    Although G-spot stimulation isn't something that's enjoyable for every woman, if it works for you then the point is to either deepen and intensify the orgasms you get from your vibrator by stimulating your G-spot as you approach and go through your clitoral orgasm, or else to enjoy the G-spot stimulation as a sensation and source of orgasmic release completely on its own (maybe after first having one clitoral orgasm to warm up, or maybe not).

    Tips: the first big tip about G-spot stimulation is that it's probably only going to be fun once you're aroused, and the more aroused you are the more fun it may be. The second big tip about G-spot stimulation is that the pressure may need to be quite firm and focused in order to work for you.

    Dildos

    While G-spot toys are designed to intensely stimulate one particular part of the vagina, most dildos are designed to give you a more generally satisfying feeling of fullness, and perhaps feel good when gently moved in and out. When you have a clitoral orgasm with your vibrator or fingertips they give you something firm and satisfying to clench your vaginal muscles around, and if you like having sex with men they give you a feeling at least a little bit like intercourse with your partner which may help you fantasize. They're also available in a wide variety of shapes and textures, so you never have to get bored.

    Your first choice in selecting a dildo is the material you want it to be made out of, and these days that's a no-brainer: you want silicone. Silicone is hypoallergenic and non-porous (meaning that if you like you can either clean it with hot water and anti-bacterial soap or else completely sterilize it by boiling it for five minutes), it feels warm to the touch and retains body heat, it transmits vibration beautifully, it can be made into toys that range from floppy to almost completely rigid, and if taken care of (i.e. not exposed to anything sharp that could puncture or tear it, and not exposed to silicone lubes) your toy could last a lifetime. In short, it's the perfect material to make a dildo out of.

    Your second choice is selecting a width and length, and of these getting the right width is by far the more important (since you can always just not insert the dildo as far, or else wrap your fist around the base, if it would otherwise be too long). One way to pick a width is to use a rule of thumb: if you know that having two fingers in you feels just about right then select a dildo between an inch and an inch and a half in diameter, but if three fingers feels better to you then pick something slightly larger than an inch and a half in diameter. If you'd like to be more sure than this, you could first purchase some inexpensive non-silicone dildos in a variety of widths, and then choose the width of your silicone purchase based on which felt the most comfortable to you.

    Your third choice is whether or not you want your dildo to resemble a human penis (though note that the "non-realistic" models are available in a variety of abstract textures and shapes, so in other words you don't have to miss out on any interesting kinds of friction just because your dildo doesn't have fake veins).

    Your final choice is shape. Do you like the slightly eye-popping feeling of first being penetrated? Then pick something with a slightly pronounced head or knob at the tip. Do you like pressure against the forward wall of your vagina? Then pick something with a curve. But in general, it's probably simplest to just look at the shape and imagine what it might feel like inside you, and what it might feel like entering you, and make your choice from there.

    For Having Harness Sex with a Partner

    A harness is something you strap onto your pelvis to hold a dildo just over your pubic bone, which you can then use to penetrate your partner either vaginally or anally almost as if you had a flesh-and-blood penis. This is a powerful fantasy for some men and women, though certainly not all. However, like anything else in life that's safe, if you're not sure whether you'd like it or not then you're probably better off trying it at least once, so you and your partner can have more time in your lives to enjoy it if you find that it's something you both enjoy.

    Tips: When using a harness, imagine that the dildo is actually part of your body (for most people this makes it easier to control). Also, if you have problems with your dildo slipping out of your partner, select a dildo with a slightly bulbous "head" so that the increased resistance will alert you when it's about to pop out.

    So weather you own a toys already and want to add more to your collection, or you are buying your very first one, keep in mind to window shop before you make that final purchase. Ask your friends they might even have a favorite that they like and you could buy also. My favorite B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend) is the RABBIT. I have recommended it to about 8 of my friends , and they have all thanked me for it. So go play with some toys, it's healthy and very fun!

    HUGS & KISSES~~ECHO

    Tuesday, November 08, 2005

    SWINGING

    FACTS & MYTHS ABOUT SWINGING...........................
     
    People who for the first time learn about the swinging lifestyle often assume that there has to be something wrong in a relationship within a couple for them to join in. Ironically, the truth is completely the opposite. This lifestyle is ONLY for couples that are happy, committed and secure in their relationships. Sex used to be something that only people who are deeply in love, and most of the time married, were supposed to share. One of the new realized realities of our society today is the fact that most people can now separate love and sex. Sex is becoming something more of a leisure, if you will, rather than an experience shared only with your soulmate. Does this mean that sex is no longer a physical expression of love? Of course - it still is! We still reserve "love making" only for the ones we love. However, the recreational sex is becoming something that can be detached from an actual relationship and enjoyed as an entirely separate activity.
     
    Another new reality of the modern society is the fact that many people do require sexual variety to live a fully enjoyable sex lives. It is not a secret that most modern marriages during its existence are challenge by adultery or end up in divorce. We've all heard the statistics. Does it mean we don't love our partners or don't want them as much sexually any more? Absolutely not! "Different" doesn't mean "better". For example, when one looks at someone of an opposite sex other than his or her partner - it is not in a search for something better. By looking at someone different, we find excitement in exploring their body shapes, moves, sexuality - it's all very new, different and, therefore, exciting. Variety is what makes many people excited and the lust for it is here to stay. One of the other newly accepted parts of our sex lives are our fantasies. By definition, they are our sexual desires which many times do NOT include our partners ( or at least not JUST them ). Even well recognized sex therapists have concluded that sexual fantasies are healthy and are here to stay as a part of almost any relationship. The swinging lifestyle is about sharing the sexual fantasies together with your partner ("together" being the keyword). This is the lifestyle that can only work for the committed couples that are secure in their relationships and have open and direct communication with each other.
     

    Another misunderstanding about the lifestyle is the myth that swingers are people who screw everyone they meet in the lifestyle and do it as often as they can. That can't be further from the truth! As a matter of fact, most couples are not what's called "hardcore swingers". There are different types of swinging and a couple can select the one that caters to their sexuality the best. You can go only as far as social flirting, light touching with a friendly couple, or you can choose to get sexual with just your own partner while another couple is enjoying each other in the same room. It all depends on how you and your partner want your swinging experience to happen, and you should never go any further that the comfort level that you have set.

    There are several kinds of swinging that couples choose to participate in. There is a "traditional" couple to couple relationship, where two couples exchange partners for the sexual activities and sometimes participate in bi-sexual play as well. There are three-way relationships where a couple invites a single male or female to play along with them. Some couples prefer to only swap bi-sexual partners. There are several more types of swinging, and they all are about sharing desires together with your partner and growing from it within your own relationship. You don't have to jump into the lifestyle by going all the way with the first people you meet. Many couples choose to take it slow while adjusting to the new lifestyle. Some start by looking at others and talking about what they find attractive. Watching adult movies together could be another way to share fantasies and desires before inviting others to join you. Using toys, role-playing, flirting are all ways to explore. It is OK to take your time and in many cases it takes a while from the moment a couple decides to explore to their first sexual encounter.

    Even though couples that join the lifestyle are looking to enhance their sex lives and overall relationships, it is also important to make sure not to damage what you already have. Each member of a couple must have a desire to satisfy both of their fantasies and not just their own. If one partner is looking to only satisfy his or her own desires dragging their partner along for the ride, it is a pretty good indication that there is something wrong in a relationship as is. In that case it is strongly recommended not to participate in the lifestyle at all. Your primary relationship with your partner is the most important thing and should be the number one priority throughout your experiences in the lifestyle. So, make sure to keep the communication gates open between you and your partner at all times and set your pace and rules upfront for the most enjoyable experiences. 

    All I have to say is, we just want to be ourselves....we are not a group. We are only two, a husband and wife and we come first above all else. We are committed to each other first. No 'group' is going to take that away from us. We started swinging in May 2005, after 3 months of talks and we started it off very slow. We oral swapped with a few couples, but when the moment came where we were truly comfortable, and everything clicked, we became full swap with an amazingly sexy couple and we enjoyed every second of it. So take it slow, there is no rush.  Happy swinging!
    Hugs & Kisses~~~ECHO (Don't knock it till ya tried it)

    Monday, November 07, 2005

    ANAL INTERCOURSE & THE JOYS OF IT!

    Topic: Anal Intercourse and the Joys it can bring!

    I myslef love anal intercourse. It makes me cum and squirt twice as hard as from normal intercourse. Why? The anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that feel great when stimulated by a finger, toy, tongue, or penis. Once inserted, a penis, butt plug, stap-on, or beads will feel good against a man's prostate, and it can also indirectly stimulate a woman's G spot since the wall between the vagina and the anus is so thin.

    Ready to learn how to have anal sex with your partner?

    If you're a man, that will involve inserting your penis into your partner's butt. If you're a woman, you'll be anally penetrating your partner with a strap-on dildo. What�s the appeal? The anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that feel great when stimulated by a finger, toy, tongue, or penis. Anal intercourse can also stimulate men's prostates and indirectly stimulate women's G-spots. What's not to like about that!

    Communication is key:

    If your partner has never experimented with anal play, you need to discuss the idea in depth beforehand. Your first step is bringing it up and letting your partner know you're interested. You could talk about it as a much desired fantasy, you could read or watch some erotica depicting anal sex, or you could go sex toy shopping together and stray to the anal toys isle! Make sure you're both on board--you really don't want to surprise your partner with this one.

    Time for penetration:

    Once you�ve gotten a finger in, pull it out and give your well-lubed penis or dildo a turn. Grasp it near the top and guide the tip into the rectum. Have your partner push out again as you push in from behind. Push very gently, just enough to pass the sphincter. Then stop and let your partner get used to the sensation. If you're using a dildo with a vibrator, turn the vibrator on so you can both feel the vibrations. When your partner's ready, ask whether he or she�d prefer that you control the thrusting motion. Your partner may be more comfortable easing back onto your penis or dildo at first. Make sure your partner lets you know what angle and depth of penetration feels good, as well as the speed and pacing. Don�t withdraw completely (unless your partner requests it), as getting past the anal sphincter is probably the most challenging part for beginners.

     A note to the ladies with strap ons:

    Even though the dildo is attached to your body, you can't feel it, so in the beginning it might help to put one hand around the base of the penis and guide your toy in and out for awhile until you get comfortable with the rhythm.Should you find you need more lube (and you can never have enough during anal play!), withdraw your dildo about two-thirds of the way, apply fresh lube to the shaft, and re-insert.

    Add other stimulation:

    As your partner gets increasingly turned on by the anal penetration, invite him to play with his penis or her to play with her clitoris. Your partner may find that your movements create pleasant friction between his or her genitals and the bed, or he or she may want to back up a bit and masturbate. When your partner's ready to cum, keep up your thrusting unless you're asked to stop. Don�t stop until your partner's finished cuming, and check in soon after as he or she may want you to remove the penis or dildo quickly.

    Tips:

    1. Experiment with different positions. Instead of the rear entry position, try the missionary position, with your partner's legs pointed toward the ceiling. This position, as well as the side-by-side position are great beginner�s anal sex positions, because it�s easier to fully relax the anus.
    2. If it hurts, you're doing something wrong. Never proceed if your partner is in pain. If you focus on relaxing your anus, you shouldn't feel pain.
    3. You can explore anal sex in the shower, which helps you stay slippery (use a silicone-based lube so it won't wash away), and alleviates any fear of uncleanliness.
    4. If you have trouble at first, consider masturbating with some anal : butt plugs, anal dildos, and anal beads, can all be a nice introduction to anal play.

    ENJOY!! AS ALWAYS "DON'T KNOCK IT TILL YOU'VE TRIED IT!"

    ~~Hugs & Kisses~~~ECHO

    Sunday, November 06, 2005

    Bi-sexuality

    What does being Bi-sexual mean...............
     
    Let's start with the definition. Bi-sexual means you are neither homosexual nor heterosexual.  Bi-sexuality is  a "lifestyle" to some and a  "sexual orientation" to others, in which the individual feels sexual attraction towards both men and women, although not necessarily to the same degree.  Some individuals who are sexually attracted to both men and women feel more strongly attracted to one gender than the other. A person can feel attractions to both men and women, decide to be monogomous, and still be considered Bi-sexual. 20% of the adult population is Bi-sexual. Being Bi-sexual doubles your chance of a date on Saturday night.
    I didn't know I was Bi-sexual until I was 28. I always checked women out and would tap my husband and point them out to him, but never realized that I was attracted to these women. I mentioned to my husband we should have a 3-some and it started up 3 months of talks of why and how. I finally realized I liked women, not as much as men, but I did and I wanted to be with one, but I was married. My husband is a very loving and understanding man, hell he also saw the benefit of getting me a woman, he got a 3-some out of it.....lol. My first time was very sensual, very sexy, very hot! The woman I was with told me that I was so good, that I should be a lesbian. I didn't know I had these skills. I love men, but I like women. They are very sexy, beautiful, creations of God. Not all people admit they are Bi-sexual. Men hide the fact less then women do, for fear of rejection. Women are more open with their sexuality & sexual preferences. Coming "out of the closet" so to say, opened up a great big world of sexual experiences for me. After all it's just SEX. I only LOVE my husband. He is simply enjoying the ride, along side of me!!
     

    Saturday, November 05, 2005

    FEMALE EJACULATION

    Today's topic is Female Ejaculation & the Truth & Myths behind it!
     
    Most people think that when a female ejaculates, that it is urine. This is a myth. With continuous stimulation of the urethral sponge, the paraurethral glands fill up with a clear, odorless fluid. This fluid can either seep, flow, or spurt out of the urethra during ejaculation. While all women have a urethral sponge, not all ejaculate. Of those who do, some ejaculate during orgasm and some during arousal. In fact, research shows that female ejaculate is chemically distinct from urine. If you�ve ever felt embarrassed or intimidated by the fear that you�re peeing in bed, I hope the following quote from me will inspire you to go ahead and do what comes naturally. I am now officially a squirter!!
    "I ejaculated the first time when I was twenty-eight
     and was on top during intercourse with my husband. The next time I ejaculated was  during G-spot stimulation by my girlfriend�s hand. I just realized that urination anxiety was holding back my ejaculate, so I let it go, and I did ejaculate!"
    If you�ve never experienced ejaculation or would like to, try incorporating G-spot stimulation into your usual masturbation techniques. I learned this new trick to instantly find the G-spot on women. You stick your index finger inside a woman's vagina (please have nails trimmed for this) depending on how long your fingers are either stick it in all the way (I have to cause I have short fingers) or 3/4 of the way in for men with longer fingers, and curl your finger upward like a "hook". Her
    urethral sponge (G-spot) can be stimulated through the front wall of her vagina.
     You should instantly feel the cushion of tissue wrapped around the urethra. The urethra is only about one and a half to two inches long.  While every woman has a urethral sponge, not everyone has the same response to its stimulation�her
     reaction could range from pleasure to indifference to irritation. You will have to
    communicate with her and her feelings. As her urethral sponge grows more swollen and sensitive, tell her to bear down with her pelvic muscles. Women�s experiences of ejaculation can range from simply feeling more wet than usual to shooting jets of fluid. Of course, plenty of women may never ejaculate and may never want to.Whether or not you �find� her G-spot or she hits the ceiling with her
    fluids, you�re certain to learn new things about her sexual responses! Some women squirt by clitoral stimulation. The clit is the spongy acorn-shaped protrusion around the urethral opening ( I call it the man in the boat)
    it is loaded with nerve endings and is an erogenous zone for many women. For others, stimulation of this area may be irritating and unpleasant. You just have to feel your way around. This might not happen the first time, It might not happen ever, but having fun in trying is worth the effort.
     
     
     

    Friday, November 04, 2005

    PERFORMING ORAL SEX ON MEN.

    SUBJECT: PERFORMING ORAL SEX ON MEN. HEY GUYS AND GALS, I DECIDED AS MY FIRST BLOG I SHOULD TALK ABOUT MY ..1 FAVORITE SUBJECT........BLOW JOBS. I LOVE GIVING THEM, AND MEN LOVE RECEIVING THEM. I HAVE NO GAG REFLEX SO I CAN DEEP THROAT QUITE WELL. ANY WOMAN CAN REALLY, SHE JUST HAS TO NUMB HER GAG REFLEX.....ALTOIDS WORK GREAT FOR THAT AND THEY FEEL GREAT TO THE GUY. NOW THE WHOLE SPIT VS. SWALLOW........MYSELF,,,I SWALLOW, BUT THEN AGAIN SOME MEN JUST HAVE FUNKY SPUNK & IT IS HORRIBLE TO SWALLOW, ALMOST GAGGY EVEN. SO FELLOWS IF YOU WANT A WOMAN TO SWALLOW JUST FOLLOW THESE SIMPLE RULES......1. DO NOT EAT ANY GARLIC UP TO 3 DAYS BEFORE, 2. IF YOU ARE A SMOKER, TRY NOT SMOKING THE DAY YOU WANT YOUR CUM SWALLOWED, 3. DON'T EAT ANY SPICY FOODS 3 DAYS BEFORE......HEALTHY MEN=HEALTHY TASTING SPERM,,,,IT'S JUST A FACT. NOW I AM GOING TO LEAVE YOU WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE ORAL POSITIONS.......THE WOMAN LIES ON HER BACK PROPPED UP ON 2 OR 3 PILLOWS & THE MAN STRADDLES HER & TRAPS HER ARMS & PROCEEDS TO FUCK HER MOUTH, DON'T DO IT TOO FAST, OR SHE WILL GAG,,,,,IN ALL I REALIZED IT TURNED MY MAN ON & I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO MUCH WORK,,,,,WIN/WIN SITUATION IN MY BOOK!!! WELL YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND & AS ALWAYS MY MOTTO IS : "DON'T KNOCK IT, TILL YOU'VE TRIED IT!" ~~HUGS & KISSES~~ECHO

    A LIL BACKGROUND

    Hi my name is Echo, yes that is my birth given name. It is from Greek Mythology if you want to look it up, Echo was a Nymph. Well let's see.......I am a Married 29 year old Swinging Bi-Sexual female. I am 100% Irish and have the red hair and green eyes to proove it. I have a very high IQ and a very large bust size. In case you were wondering, my breast size is a 38F. 100% all natural God given. I also have a huge butt! I would consider myself volumptuous. I am still a college student, it's taking forever but will pay off in the end. I am a smartass I love to joke & laugh,,,,,,laughter is the key to happiness, that and a very sexually healthy life. I did have a Girlfriend wuntil she recently got jealous, so now I am looking for a replacement,,,lol. Hmm what else more can I tell you except.........................................

    D.O.B. June 3, 1976 in Voorhees, New Jersey

    FAV BAND: Metallica

    FAV FOOD: Morroccan

    HOBBIES:Practicing being a diva, playing with my sex toys, and writing poetry.

    MOST PRIZED POSSESSION:It would have to be my B.O.B. (Battery opperated boyfriend) He keeps me happy.

    FAV MOVIE: Dogma

    FAV T.V. SHOW: ER

    TATTOOS: I have 4. I have a coqui frog on the back on my neck, a heart with a daisy through it & a butterfly on my left ankle, a tribal teal rose on my right ankle, and a tribal teal/black butterfly on my lower back.

    PIERCINGS: I have 3 holes in each ear, a laret piercing, tongue ring, and both my nipples pierced.

    FAV QUOTE: "Save your breath for your inflatable dates!"

    LAST WORDS: "Naughty Night!"