TOYS FOR MEN OR FOR EITHER MEN OR WOMEN

Toys for Men

For Penile Stimulation

Most men have their first orgasm with the help only of one of their hands, and throughout life this may remain a perfectly enjoyable and comfortable way to reach orgasm. However, there's definitely no harm in experimenting with new sensations to see if you like them. For example: the Hugger Vibrator, which focuses sensation on the head of the penis, or the Cybersleeve, which distributes sensation all along the shaft of the penis.

For Prostate Stimulation

For some men (though certainly not all), ass play in general, and prostate stimulation in specific, is the one thing they discover in late adulthood that they wish they'd discovered in early adulthood. Most butt toys, are designed equally for men or women, but one toy deserves special mention: the Aneros. It's specifically designed for men for the sake of prostate stimulation, either on its own or accompanying masturbation, and is basically the men's equivalent of the "Archer Wand" toy mentioned in the Toys for Women blog.

Something Often Overlooked...

I realize this suggestion may seem out of place in a sex toy guide, but I can't help but mention it: find clothing that expresses who you are. The increased feelings of sexiness which you gain from wearing clothes that you feel you look good in, and which you feel confident in, is very real regardless of your gender.

Toys for Either Women or Men

Lubes

For almost any kind of penetration (whether with fingers, a penis, or a dildo, and whether vaginal or anal), slippery is sexy and dry is usually uncomfortable. So basically, a bottle of lube is a fundamental thing to have on hand if you're sexually active. Since oil-based lubes destroy latex condoms and silicone-based lubes are only good for very specific situations, a water-based lube is almost certainly what you want.

Water-Based

Water-based lube is your basic, recommended type of lube. It works beautifully with latex, it won't harm any of your sex toys, and it feels natural. For any kind of sex involving vaginal or anal penetration, it can make sex 1000% more fun.

Basically, try Slippery Stuff if you'll mainly use it for vaginal penetration, and try Astroglide if you'll mainly use it for anal penetration. Both of these water-based lubes are also glycerin-free, which means they're less likely to feel sticky. If neither of these lubes suit your needs, then try a lube sampler to figure out which kind works best for you.

Silicone-Based

I hesitated to mention silicone lubes in this blog at all, since the overwhelming majority of people actually shouldn't buy them: if you accidentally use a silicone-based lube with one of your silicone toys, an adhesive reaction results which will destroy that toy. Furthermore, since silicone-based lube doesn't feel like natural vaginal lubrication, for most people it wouldn't be the preferred choice for any kind of vaginal penetration.

However, there are two specific situations in which silicone-based lube might make sense: when having sex underwater (since water dissolves water-based lubes but not silicone-based lubes), and for lengthy and intense anal penetration.

Right now, the recommended brand of silicone-based lube is Eros Gel.

Anal Toys

A good anal toy can be a revelation: assuming you have some water-based lube so that inserting the toy is comfortable, it can provide stimulation to the nerve-rich anus while going in, and once in can intensify in a very interesting way the feeling of the whole pelvic region during sex. There are two broad categories of anal toys: those meant to be left in during play, and those meant to be gradually pulled out or pushed in during play.

Toys Meant to be Left in During Play

These are otherwise known as "butt plugs." They have a special shape that helps them stay in once they're inserted, and can be left in while you have other kinds of sex. Choices include small, medium, and large.

Toys Meant to be Gradually Pulled Out During Play

You may have heard of "anal beads." The more durable alternative is a dildo with a series of bulbs shaped like beads, but without a string running through them that can weaken or break. But either way, the point is the same: you insert them, and gradually pull them out during intercourse or masturbation, perhaps leaving a few for the moment of orgasm itself. The impact of this kind of sensation on your orgasm can be dramatic. Right now, the best anal toy created with this kind of play in mind is the Ripple.

For Cleaning Beforehand, if Desired

To start with, even though the ass is generally cleaner than you might think, if the nature of ass play still leaves you uncomfortable, there's nothing stopping you from using latex or Nitryl gloves for penetration with fingers, dams for rimming, and condoms on any toys that are going to be inserted. There's also nothing stopping you from using the bathroom well before playing, or taking a shower before playing.But for an additional level of cleaning, or perhaps for an interesting sensation in and of itself, a cleansing douche is always an option.

For Blindfolded Play

Blindfolds are sexy for good reasons: they're a consensual way for the receiver to completely focus on what they're feeling, and they're a way to remove any ambiguity as to who is "running the scene." Unfortunately, despite what you may have seen in the movies, just tying a bandanna around someone's head usually doesn't work very well, so you'd probably want something more secure and simpler to apply.

For Bondage and Sensation Play

The range of play which falls under the heading of "BDSM" is vast. Stated poetically rather than technically, it's a way to take the freedom to struggle and strain without hurting anyone, combine that with intense sensations which produce the same endorphin and adrenaline rushes you might get from sports, and bundle the whole thing together with sex. Just by way of example, if your main interest as a couple is one of you being able to prevent the other from moving, then bondage tape might be an inexpensive place to start, and once you have either eye bolts or bed posts for securement, continuing to a combination of leather wrist restraints, wrist cuff connectors, and ankle restraints.Similarly, if your main interest is creating different kinds of (possibly intense) sensations for your partner, then examples of things to look at depending on your interests would be nipple clamps and paddles/floggers.

Slings

If you have the space to set one up (and the freedom to put eye bolts in a ceiling beam to support it), a sling can be a very cool thing to have. It allows "weightless" intercourse, it makes fisting much easier, and it makes sex a much easier thing for pregnant women to have.

Candlelight

Don't forget: candlelight is the most flattering form of illumination you're likely to find, and when used safely is probably the single easiest way to upgrade the appearance of wherever you and your partner play.

Sex Games

Most of the "sex games" you see advertised are pretty cheesy, but I've found a few which seem to have value: the Sex Questions game for helping partners learn more about each other, and the Pervartistry game for having fun with a group of open-minded adults.

Safer Sex Supplies

If you're worried about getting sick, or you're worried about getting pregnant when you don't want to be pregnant, then sex probably isn't going to be completely fun no matter what you do. So in other words, gaining confidence in your safer sex and birth control arrangements is one of the sexier things you can do for yourself.

Latex Condoms

From a public health perspective, using latex condoms for penile vaginal and anal penetration, in any case where one partner may have a transmittable STD which the other does not, is the one habit which would make the biggest difference in the fight against STD's. A terrific latex condom for most men is the Kimono Microthin: they're thin and transmit sensation well, they're well-constructed, and having no taste that we can discern they're as suitable to oral sex as they are to intercourse. If after trying one you decide you'd like a snugger fit, then try Lifestyle Snugger Fit. If after trying one you decide you'd like a roomier fit, then try Pleasure Plus if you'd like more room at the head but the same snug fit at the base, or else Maxx if you'd like a roomier fit all-around. If you'd like to experiment with a condom that might provide a different sensation to you then try the Inspiral, and if you'd like to experiment with a condom that might provide a slightly different sensation to your partner then try the Kimono Sensation. On the other hand, if you're looking for inexpensive condoms not to go around a penis but rather to go around the head of your Hitachi Magic Wand, then pick up a pack of Trustex. If none of these options seem to suit you, then try a condom sampler pack to continue your search.

Tips: Condoms are most comfortable and effective when what they're surrounded by is slippery rather than dry - so either keep a small bottle of water-based lube with your condoms, or failing that a few single-use packets of water-based lube. Also, as an STD prevention measure the uncomfortable and generally questionable chemical Nonoxynol-9 has definitely fallen out of favor - if you're buying at a drug store or supermarket you'll need to avoid it on your own.

Latex Dams

Dams are thin rectangles of latex intended for safer oral sex when going down on a woman (cunnilingus), or for safer and cleaner oral sex when licking someone's anus (analingus). For these purposes, far and away the best product is the Glyde Dam. One important tip: putting a bit of water-based lube on the recipient's side of the barrier can help a lot more sensation be transmitted to them.

Unfortunately, if you're used to performing cunnilingus without a barrier, but now feel you must for the sake of your own safety or that of your partner, then making the transition to using a dam can be hard. If this remains true for you, even with practice, then please understand there's no shame in learning to use your hands instead: particularly if you take the opportunity to passionately kiss someone or whisper nasty things to them as you're pleasuring them, sex with hands rather than mouths really can feel awfully good...

Latex Gloves

Particularly if some of the skin on your hands is damaged (or if there is any chance you'll come into contact with blood) and your partner is of unknown STD/HIV status, latex gloves may make sense for finger or hand penetration. They may also make sense if you want to penetrate your partner's ass with your fingers but you have cleanliness concerns (since after you're done you can just peel the glove off and throw it in the trash).

Alternatives for People with Latex Allergies

Although in each case the latex safer sex choice is probably the best choice if you can use it, for partners who are allergic to latex (an allergy particularly common amongst medical professionals) alternative safer sex materials may be needed. If you or your partner is allergic to latex, then for vaginal or anal intercourse the Avanti polyurethane condom is certainly one option (though please understand it is by no means ideal: since polyurethane doesn't stretch as well as latex the reliability and fit is probably just NOT going to be as good for you). An alternative to Avanti is the Reality female condom, which is also usable for anal sex if you remove its inner ring.

For cunnilingus or analingus, if you or your partner is allergic to latex but some sort of barrier is still needed, your best bet is probably to use regular (i.e. non-microwaveable) kitchen plastic wrap instead.

For hands and fingers, Nitryl gloves are available as a substitute for latex gloves in cases where gloves are needed

HUGS & KISSES~~ECHO